February 23, 2023, 4:30 am, by 1-844-832-6158 | After being lost in my thoughts for so long, they gave me a unique insight into the dynamics of my relationship and how to get it back on track. They might be negative, but it doesnt mean theyre totally wrong. It implies that you're wrong, overreacting, or lying. After all, there is a right and a wrong way to go about things. Your verbally abusive husband or wife is abusive because he or she chooses to be that way or doesnt know how to behave differently, but that it is not your fault. Note down your negative and positive interactions for the day for at least two weeks. When someone blames you, you tend to fixate on the negative consequences of your own actions. Here's two things you need to consider: Not all hurt is intentional. Do not sit around and think because that could be very dangerous. These above statistics are not to imply that only men are abusers. Treating someone badly and then blaming it on something in your past does nothing in the present to help the other person, who is not to blame for your past abuse. Here are the 3 do's when an abusive husband or wife blames you and won't take responsibility for his or her bad behavior: 1. Harriet Lerner, Ph.D., is the author of many books, including the New York Times bestseller, The Dance of Anger, and Why Won't You Apologize: Healing Big Betrayals and Everyday Hurts. Indeed, I grew from it. Ask yourself if youve actually committed an offense and if its a big one. Guard your sanity 1) Maintain a cool head This is a must-do if you're dealing with someone with negative personality traits. "Again, we are hearing blame. Theres of course, no shame in being sensitive. Knowing what you value will help you build the most meaningful life possible. Few of us will experience that level of victimisation. Think of the last three or four instances that they blamed you for something. Not all victims are manipulative. //
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