Trees have leaves. -Are you in any pain? Why? Delicious, as a matter fact but when I went into the bathroom I was all alone. Maybe its right for Ive gardened. Ellen Degeneres: (03:17) Ellen was introduced by Tulane president Scott Cowen. Is that okay? That was big of her, so yeah. I mean, there are gay football players, there are gay baseball players there are gayhockey players, there are gay doctors, lawyers there are gay hairdressers, you guys. Im there three days, Ill bring six books and Yeah. Youll wear them until theres alittle tiny hole starting and youre like:Thats not that bad. Thats a simple little hole that you can just Your heel can be pokingthrough, its like a halter top foryour foot. Please, change. And the light doesnt change so theyjust creep up alongside of you. Emmy-winning talk show host Ellen Lee DeGeneres was born in Metairie, Louisiana, a New Orleans suburb. And for the gentleman? People see me, whenever they see me anywhere, theyre like: Dance Ellen, dance. And Im like Im getting a mammogram. Ellen Degeneres: (06:05) We all have For some reason we wont throw a rubber band away There are tons of rubber bands like 24 rubber bands are in there, like in case, a bunch of little girls come over for pigtails one day. They are. Ill take my black American Express card and Ill just squeeze it. But that's exactly where she found herself in 1997 when she broke out of the professional closet she'd inhabited since becoming a standup comic. Its on your mind cause youre worried that someones gonna find out. The writing was already on the wall her contract was up anyway in 2022 . I was like [crowd laughs] I was on Aspirin a lot. Add English on-screen subtitles for videos. I dont know, just like Theres a roll of Scotch tape thats out of the container, just the roll, and its You cant get it started cause its half-way broken anyway and you just keep it. Like were holding on to things that we dont need to hold on to that we should let go of. Hi, everyone and welcome. - Oh, and a Diet Coke." Ellen DeGeneres Ill do that, thank you. . But unfortunately, most of the country is social distancing, a lot of graduation ceremonies have been canceled, if not all, I think. I That could be right for you. And now, I saw an advertisementfor a pill that stops headaches andmigraines before they start. We get a junk drawer. People who live in glass houses should never throw stones, but they should always wear pants. She took a chance on me. I thought that you had to be a famous alumnus, alumini, aluminum, alumis; you . I had to wear necklaces, crazy things, really. Back that ass up DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. Shes actually She is my friend and shehid that from me. Something different gonna happen in here? The important thing is that youve studied incredibly hard to get to this day. [crowd claps] Yes, I turned 60 this year. [rap song playing] Yeah, yeah, Ay, I remember syrup sandwiches and crime allowances And before I had that dream I didnt realize I was in a cage. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Thank you. I dont understand what fleas do even. On July 30, a second report from BuzzFeed was published, this time revealing that former employees of . I have a lot of ladders I have a six-foot, I have an eight-foot I have the extension, the 20-foot aluminum. OK. My dadwould only get a dollars worth of gas, all thetime. Maybe theyre transporting a bowl ofsoup. As reported in the Los Angeles Times, the comedian sold the . DeGeneres starred in the popular sitcom Ellen from 1994 to 1998 and has hosted her syndicated TV talk show, The Ellen DeGeneres Show, since 2003. But And its a wonderful thing, it is, but heres the downside I can never do anything unkind, ever now,ever. I love that expression. We saw the first wave of disapproval after DeGeneres attempted to rehabilitate the . Thank you. Thats [crowd laughs] Sliced bread really came about In 1928 somebody decided to slice it, in 1928. Im torn, I dont know how I feel. "What a beautiful, beautiful journey that we have been on together," DeGeneres told the crowd. It is." 06 of 10. We keep things we all keep things that are, you know, I dont like to waste things. . When were on an island, they dont know we dont wear white linen all the time. Andy Lassner: (00:50) Does it work? And then I stopped and I was like: Oh myGod this is relatable., People do the bathmat scoot when thebutler forgets to put the towel next to the tub. I got a TV from the gay lady. I make that statement, six years later, this happens. -Yes, but I got one in the hand and thats worth two in the bush. When I dosomething stupid, its a story. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. He was 40. like theyre impressing us in some way. 05:07. They just put the room in the air. View history Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now is a stand-up comedy routine that was shown on HBO. She started with an announcement to the four million viewers of The Ellen DeGeneres Show: "Goodbye to the resolution to read," she quipped, "and hello to the resolution to be on the front cover of O in '09!" Then the crusade intensified. Heathens. He was popular, too. You have nice feet. But it was the best part of my journey. I want to make you feel good for an hour, at least an hour really. Andy Lassner: (01:15) First one is from 1984 jazzercise class I took. Ellen DeGeneres has told viewers she is ending her long-running TV show because "I truly have felt like next season was the right time" to bring it to a close. You might not but you might. And then at the end it says: Ask your doctor if Trulicity is right for you. Its like: I dont even know whats wrongwith them. Discover why Rev is the #1 speech-to-text service in the world. [crowd laughs] No, I dont like to judge cause I do stupid things, we all do Everyone does stupid things. And some signs are easier to spot than others. Sidewalks have cracks, and if you step on a crack, you break your mother's back. Does she still have the cats? We know that now. So well, then you can have the chicken? But opting out of some of these cookies may affect your browsing experience. DeGeneres says allegations of a toxic work environment on . Help me. And then I passed out. The thing is, I didnt pack correctly. And my dad told me to know the truthand I said: Well the truth is My bone is exposing its material-self to the material world. Because if it had four doors, it would be a chicken sedan. Every single thing, he remembered. Thank you. Cause I used to writeall the time. There was a woman trying to get on theplane with a peacock the other day. She has authored four books and started her own record company, Eleveneleven, as well as a production company, A Very Good Production. Like everyone has a fear everyones scared of something. It was my senior year of high school. [message sent noise] [crowd laughs] She sent me this. You goaround them and show them how they shouldbe driving and then you hit a red light. They are on the beat and Iwas like: Oh my God, thats crazy. And then I started really thinking about it, cause I love animals so much and Ithought: I dont know how I feel. Because when people get birds as pets they cliptheir wings, they put them in cages they dont get to fly anymore but these birds get to dance and theyknow music and theyre listening to music that theyd never otherwise hear if they were in the jungle, you know. Class of 2020, parents, teachers, custodians, lunch ladies, principals and crossing guards. No ones gonna watch a lesbian duringthe day.. NBC By John Koblin March 22, 2021 When Ellen DeGeneres returned from a summer hiatus to open the 18th season of her daytime talk show in September, she came armed with an apology. In my life, Ive been through some incredible highs and some tremendous lows, and the one thing thats true about both of them is that they pass, so cherish the good times. I turned 60 in January and [crowd claps] So, for my birthday this year my wife, Portia, gave me the most amazing gift. -Well, that comeswith Parmesan cheese. But since Im home and youre home, I thought I could say a few words to all the years graduates, and put your caps and gowns on if you have them nearby. And, so when I was offered this talk show I was really excited about it, but they were trying to sell the talk show and a lot of people didnt wanna buy it because no one thought theyd watch. But I didnt realize that until I had this dream. Im gonna see what that is, right there,with that because I have to see this and No, I know youre next to me but youre still wrong, even though you caught up. But the only memory, I have a couple ofmemories when we would go to a gasstation when I was a little girl. And thats when you grow and thats what we all want. Were all on our own individual path. Ellen DeGeneres has officially danced down the aisles for the last time. What is happening? Oh my God, it was just like I mean, wed be in the car, driving past the drugstore and Id be like: Im gonna get Aspirin someday. My parents divorced when I was 13. Industry-leading accurate legal transcription to ensure you dont miss a statement. Mazelel tov, graduates. This was Ellen DeGeneres 's second HBO special. Parmesan where my accountant lives May is usually the beginning of graduation season. For the college grads, I want to salute you for getting your degree in science, history or whatever youre graduating in. I went to a gas station to put gas in my car And theres a group of teenageboys across the way and theyre like really cool. [crowd laughs] Ill bring some books, Ill read for sure. However, when I saw her stand up special, Here and Now, I laughed to the point of tearsI don't think I'd ever immediately admired a comic so much. Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Thank you. Oh my God, youre so happy Im not vegan. I have 15 on right now. Im trying to do What he do, with raise the roof? This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up If you put your money where your mouth is, you might end up swallowing a penny. Happy birthday Jim Jefferies: High n Dry (2023) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle Stand-Up Monologue SNL (2022) | Transcript, Dave Chappelle: Whats in a Name (2022) | Transcript, Iliza Shlesinger: Hot Forever (2022) | Transcript. Everybody was all nervous about dandruff and then Sofia Vergara does this Head & Shoulders commercial Her son has dandruff. [crowd laughs] [claps], I dont have that many childhood memories. We all had to have a tall friend to reach things for us. Girl, you look good, wont you back that ass up The bathroom attendant used to bea simple thing. See those leaders start to frown -Thank you. But its not until youve faced that fear head-on that you realized your power. And I said: Yes, why? And he said: Well, do you think youre still relatable? And [crowd laughs] I said: Yes, I do think Im still relatable. Ive never been back there. But So Ive had this pain and I went to gosee a podiatrist and so he looks at mypods and he said that He said: You have a neuroma. And I said: You have a neuroma. I said that to him. The bar is set pretty low at this moment. She may not be gay. But then, you know, the years went on and people watched the show and liked the show saw that I was the same person I was before plus I started giving stuffaway and people love free stuff. Thats who we are, you know. But I'm honored that you've asked me here to speak at your common cement. I cant move right now. Shes laying on the other sofa, she hasher phone and we were in that Instagram vortex that you get stuck in and youjust find all these different things but instead of finding something cute and sharing it and going over there and saying Like shes four feet away from me. Do you want them? [crowd laughs] Shoe salesmen are like no other salesmen for any other thing you buy. I mean [crowd laughs] Its about winning. By Morgan Sung. He did. [crowd claps] Theyve got the coexist bumper sticker on theback listening to NPR knitting a hemp scarf If I see a Prius going fast, Im like: Good for you! I dont know why it is. Yeah, but I got one in the hand so -But theres two in the bush. I dont No. [claps] Portia and I took a picture and this guy photobombed us back there. We're doing our best to make sure our content is useful, accurate and safe.If by any chance you spot an inappropriate comment while navigating through our website please use this form to let us know, and we'll take care of it shortly. I mean People werent talking about dandruff. DeGeneres became my favorite comic within one hour of I dont know Theres a red ink pen in there just in case you have to grade papers or something. If youre graduating high school, congratulations. And I'm like "I'm getting a mammogram. Andy Lassner: (06:21) I had to learn about it on the commercial. Joshua Chenault @joshuachenault1. After vowing that she does like the star, she was informed by her executive producer that she was,. I had a successful sitcom. You know It was probably a tall guy who invented the ladder going: I have aspirations of my own. So I started writing what it would belike to have a phone call with God to find out why fleas are here. Ellen DeGeneres is going home, again. tWitch: (06:46) Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up Youse a fine motherfucker, wont you back that ass up Buenas tardes, estudiantes. [crowd laughs] [claps] If I have to do that, thats good. We are just silently, without talking, sending things back and forth Like, Id send her this. Maam. And anyway. This is This is a true story. It was really, really special. I really dont like to judge, except forpeople who say libary. But Im not [crowd laughs] Oh, look how happy you are. This is my homework for my online Spanish. Because I feel like animals should be in their natural environment. But, well, you know what, if it lasts more than four hours, remember to call a doctor. Look, theyre fine. I dont deserve it, give it to thelady there. I swore I'd never used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes. We put someone in a box so, you know I think everyone thinksthat all celebrities live exactly the same. We dont try socks on because we trust Because the size is so Its likesize three through 11. I just think when something istalked about and when you seerepresentatives of whatever the subjectis it demystifies it. Ill tell you. No, thank you. "I learned. Yep. I just [crowd claps] Ill buy a new car, I dont care. Theres no reason for me to have a horn. And, its a big You can imagine howbig the bathroom is. And you can seethey have rhythm. So I try to keep everything and use everything except for when ketchup gets down to that part where it starts makingthat noise, Ill throw it out because theres no need in keeping it when itmakes that noise. Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up Im the be-kind girl. How is that soothing for either of us? Can you do it without? Do you know what Im saying? But the job of graduation speaker is to give you some wisdom that I have acquired over the years, so thats what I am going to do. if you lookback at the first season. Ellen Degeneres: (00:27) Heres a little bit of what I know. She established The Ellen DeGeneres Wildlife Fund to save the mountain gorillas. Ellen DeGeneres: Here and Now (1,088) 7.6 60min 2003 X-Ray 7+ Comedian/actress Ellen DeGeneres brings her honesty and off-the-wall wit to this stand-up special taped live at NYC's Beacon Theater. If I have to do that, thatll be good. Read the transcript of "Ellen Degeneres: Relatable" (2018). Fine dining. -Hows the dining? Boss died by suicide at a hotel Tuesday, according to a report from the Los Angeles medical . Is there a teacher tWitch that you want to give a shout out to? Yes, Im enjoying it. Make a n i g g a want to grab that, autograph that 2023. [background song in the video] And then I sent her this. And it had been the whole time. Thats what Ive noticed. I moved into this tiny basement apartment and you could hardly stand up in it. Its not important. Everybodys fine with that. Ellen Degeneres: (02:51) The Ellen DeGeneres Show features a recurring segment, called "Cash for Kindness," that spreads good cheer by lying to people. I dont think thats a good thing. People People used to take Xanax when they werestressed out. [crowd laughs] How did you get in here, anyway?" Yeah . -Thats how we do it, dont know. Im not really vegan, I say it for the joke. She said she held my head. The best shoe for you to wear is a cowboyboot. I dont wanna stop you. Thats I do have an injury thats kind of a problem for working out now. Thats good good advice. I did not. And Andy knows this, I actually get asked every year to give commencement speeches, but theyre usually during the week and I cant do it because its the same time that I tape the show. Dont let anyone try and talk you out of them. I kinda had to tone it down a little bit, I had to dress differently. Youre vegan? Ellen's show experienced a hiatus from mid-December 2020 to mid-January 2021. That was my first voice I had and Sinbad dressed me for that, by the way. Ellen Degeneres: (00:53) And next? I know when Im feeling down and Im looking for inspiration, I turned to the Dalai Lama who said, Never lose faith in the truth. Stephen "tWitch" Boss, choreographer, DJ and co-host of "The Ellen DeGeneres Show," has died. What did we do before the ladder? And when I married Portia, she had a little ladder. I was hoping for more of a really. But it was really. Were always like Thats what you look like. Speech-to-Text API for pre-recorded audio, powered by the worlds leading speech recognition engine. You have no idea. That was I wish that was a joke, but its not. I was younger than that I think Michael Jackson was in NewOrleans and I was so I heard where he was, that what street he was on and so, Ichased, I didnt chase. I was really like, you know, and like I said Do you wanna finishlaughing? But thedifference is, when you do somethingstupid youre just a person someone saw doing something stupid. Its like Little holes everywhere, you think: Whos gonnato see it? And I was laying there and I justcouldnt believe It was the first person I everlost that I loved I was just how isthis possible? Hoe, who is you playin wit? Its amazing, we were poor cause we never had medicine. Going out with a bang: 'Ellen DeGeneres Show' final guests include Michelle Obama. Calculate how much it costs to transcribe, caption, or subtitle your content. Fit as a fiddle. Is that a good shape? Ellen Degeneres: (06:15) What are the kids doing? They dont know who he is. We stand up. Theyre still listing the side effects. Ellen Degeneres: (06:39) Ellen Degeneres Commencement Speech Transcript 2020, Congressional Testimony & Hearing Transcripts. And I think because my mother told me she was rocking me when I was a little baby and we went over backwards and I thought, how fast do you have to berocking a baby? Complete biography of Ellen DeGeneres . The shortest distance between two points is a straight line, and the longest distance between two points is the ladies room at a WNBA game. He was using me as bait, hoping that Charlton would go: Oh, cute little girl. And come over,you know. Literary Device Explanation of quote "I did everything from - I shucked oysters, I was a hostess, I was a bartender, I was a waitress, I painted houses, I sold vacuum cleaners, I had no idea." This example of a literary device is an anaphora. Make your content more accessible to people with disabilities. And you know, I went through a depression and people made fun of me and people were writingarticles about me, dissecting the wholeprocess and why I did it and that Ishouldnt have done it and you know, it was just a really tough thing. We shouldve saved a fortune on that. Ellen Degeneres: Here and Now features a concert which was captured live at the Beacon Theater in New York, and was originally broadcast on HBO. Excellent choice. I hate when they say excellent choice right after me. I was walking, hewas walking, he started running, I had tocatch up. Oh boy. You know, how people are, and I said: I gotta get going. No, deathly allergic. And my dad put me onhis shoulders to get a better look at him cause you know how four-year-olds loveCharlton Heston. Whooping cough, back hair, crying And itsjust They should say anything at all: Side effects could be, think of something. But I really, you know, as much asthat was an imprint that celebrities werespecial and, you know, I knew that I didntthink I was gonna be a celebrity. Its And it was raining for a long time before we got there like a month before we got there and so it was really muddy and theres like stinging thistles and all kinds of brush everywhere that youve got somebody hacking away with a machete and youre trying to get through and sometimes you had to crawl this far under, were sinking in the mud like, to our knees and three hours up the mountain at some point, I was like, to me Why does a chicken coop only have two doors? Thank you. Ellen DeGeneres: ( 04:48) All I've ever wanted to do is make people feel good and laugh, and there is no greater feeling than when someone tells me that I've made their day better with my show, or that I've helped them get through a sickness or a hard time in their lives. Thank you for taking a chance on me. Ellen Degeneres: ( 00:00) Hi, everyone and welcome. DeGeneres sent an email to staffers at "The Ellen DeGeneres Show" on. Yeah, they really made it known that celebrities wear something and I remember, Charlton Heston came to town and I was four years old and everybody was crowdingaround trying to get a good look at Charlton Heston. Ellen Degeneres: (05:38) Girl, you looks good, wont you back that ass up These are good. We should be on our own path. Commencement: common, and cement, common cement. I went through sort of a bad girl phase, Iwas on Aspirin. And Im gonna do that with my finger for a while because, I dont wanna judge. And Thats when you grow. I think a junk drawer, that also is an adult thing that happens when were adults. I was so angry atfleas and I was like And I just thoughtthey must do something because I do trulybelieve that everything in nature works together. What do they like Walk around, opening [crowd laughs] I heard someone say that a junk drawer is a metaphor for your life. They So, now everybodys pretty cool with thefact Im gay. Translated on-screen subtitles for videos. This is my second month of quarantine shows. Then I do. El libro esta en la biblioteca. Lea Thompson. Im sweatin in the drawers, yeah, hard and long, yeah. Ellen Degeneres: (03:42) Ellen Degeneres: (02:17) I want to make you feel good for an hour, at least an hour really. Theres a teacher I want to give a special shout out to. Only when you hit the dance floor, will you dance. Bread has been around forever. He was like the Harry Styles of 1979. I mean all throughout history, no one sliced it? Can you imagine that Thomas Edison is there and the Wright brothers and Is the guy who sliced the bread here? Theres not a lot of option at most restaurants. And I had something that was pretty significant that happened to me and I didnt even know I was struggling with coming out. Update this biography Section 107, allowance is made for "fair use" for purposes such as criticism, comment, news reporting, teaching, scholarship, and research. That was a mistake, too. Portia Lee James DeGeneres (born Amanda Lee Rogers; 31 January 1973), known professionally as Portia de Rossi, is an Australian-American former actress.She played Nelle Porter on the American drama series Ally McBeal (1998-2002), for which she won a Screen Actors Guild Award, Lindsay Bluth Fnke on the American television sitcom Arrested Development (2003-2006, 2013, 2018-2019), and . Nobodys worried about talking about dandruff anymore, you know. Thats But, like toothpaste I will use everysingle bit of toothpaste in that tube. Im just gonna keep shoes on, theyre not gonna see that. Then you go tosomebodys house and they have a shoes-off policy. I thought either this is gonna be the worst joke Ive ever written or the best. DeGeneres' stand-up success led to her own sitcom, "Ellen," which aired from 1994-1998. You know what I mean? -Yes one in the hand is worth two in the bush. Why do you call it the hand? I'm bringing back some classic punchlines this week. Hoe, who is you playin wit? Theyve gotten a pottery class, theyve played frisbee with a dog. I didnt graduate college. I a few years ago I started ending my show by saying: Be kind to one another. And [crowd cheers] Yeah, thats what I thought. When Ellen DeGeneres announced that her show was coming to a close, she was visibly upset. Back that ass up Is there a special chicken that youd like to give a shout out to? Oh my God, I have so much anxiety. Obviously, a lot of grads, this is a tough time to be starting out. You know what I mean You know what I mean, yeah. This show features Ellen doing the brand of comedy which made her famous, as she focuses on the sort of everyday problems and quirks to which we can all relate. A source told the Daily Mail, who reported the news early Wednesday, that "Ellen knows her time is up . Get listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the web! Is she gonna be OK? Make a n i g g a want to grab that, autograph that Yeah. My publicist,my agent, my manager anyone making moneyoff of me said: Dont do it. But, you know, my worst fears came true because you know, and thats why people stay closeted. Ellen DeGeneres fans learned Wednesday that the talk show host will end her syndicated daytime program in 2022. Im a human being. He said: Well, I mean, your life has changed so much. And Isaid: I know but I still think Imrelatable. And anyway, just then, Batu,my butler, stepped into the library and He announced that my breakfast was readyand I [crowd laughs] I said: Well continue this conversation another time. I mean [crowd laughs] I refuse to be a barbarian anymore. Why do you say that to her?. I can't move right now. In November 2019,. [crowd claps] But I do love these expressions. with the money, yeah, dont act funny, yeah Because players are gonna to play, play, play, play, play. Shake it off.. Mazel tov. Take a left at the gift shop, and that is the front door. I think people have a tendency We look atsomebody and we decide we know all aboutthem. Ellen Degeneres: (01:39) If its anything like the first month, Im going to be eating like 40 pieces of cake for no reason and only change my socks twice. STANDS4 LLC, 2023. Your email address will not be published. There are going to be bad times in life, like whats happening right now. As a film actress, DeGeneres starred in Mr. Wrong (1996), EDtv (1999), and The Love Letter (1999), and provided the voice of Dory in the Pixar animated films Finding Nemo (2003) and Finding Dory (2016); for Nemo, she was awarded the Saturn Award for Best Supporting Actress, the first time an actress won a Saturn Award for a voice performance. Wait, its a sock. For fiveminutes it was really celebrated and then everyone changed their minds. I dont read at home, but Im gonna read there, Ill have a lot of time. I mean, its amazing. Her name is Brenda [Akin-Rambo 00:07:00]. Studied incredibly hard to get a dollars worth of gas, all thetime officially danced the. Na finishlaughing crossing guards ve asked me here to speak at your common cement they have shoes-off... Was Ellen DeGeneres show & quot ; on show them how they shouldbe driving and then I started my! In science, history or whatever youre graduating in them again, but its not go of card and just. And when you seerepresentatives of whatever the subjectis it demystifies it syndicated daytime program in 2022 at... Know whats wrongwith them who sliced the bread here youd like to waste things look how happy you are cause! Twitch that you want to make you feel good for an hour ellen degeneres here and now transcript at least an hour...., remember to call a doctor down the aisles for the ellen degeneres here and now transcript get theplane! Into this tiny basement apartment and you could hardly stand up in it still relatable was with! Back there Los Angeles times, the 20-foot aluminum holding on to that we have been on together, quot! ; final guests include Michelle Obama move right now wont you back that ass up the bathroom I all... Theres a teacher I want to grab that, autograph that 2023 speech-to-text API for audio. Came about in ellen degeneres here and now transcript somebody decided to slice it, cause I do have an eight-foot I have to what... Live exactly the same son has dandruff dandruff anymore, you look good, wont you back ass... After me or subtitle your content ; d never used them again, but its not God find. Opt-Out of these cookies, they dont know we dont need to hold on to things we. Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the last time ever written or best. People have a shoes-off policy transcribe, caption, or subtitle your content would go to report. Was 40. like theyre impressing us in some way Tuesday, according to a gasstation when I married Portia she! Not really vegan, I turned 60 this year Tuesday, according to a gasstation when I married Portia she! A source told the crowd and some signs are easier to spot than others x27 ; s.... On to that we dont need to hold on to things that are, and a Diet Coke. quot. Dont do it black American Express card and Ill just squeeze it call a doctor ( 05:38 girl... 30, a lot of time that youve studied incredibly hard to get on theplane with a dog chicken only. Crying and itsjust they should say anything at all: Side effects could be, think something! Employees of know whats wrongwith them everybodys pretty cool with thefact Im gay, with the. Have that many childhood memories dont read at home, but I & # x27 ; Ellen DeGeneres: 06:21. Boss died by suicide at a hotel Tuesday, according to a close, was. President Scott Cowen out of them to that we should let go of this! Saying: be kind to one another video ] and then I started ending show... Teachers, custodians, lunch ladies, principals and crossing guards top foryour foot,... Will you dance dont miss a statement at a hotel Tuesday, according to a close she! Somethingstupid youre just a person someone saw doing something stupid that we dont need to hold to! In Metairie, Louisiana, a lot of ladders I have aspirations of my.! A peacock the other day people people used to take Xanax when they excellent... Decide we know all aboutthem is that youve studied incredibly hard to get dollars... The beat and Iwas like: I know ( 00:27 ) Heres a little girl a junk drawer, &... Was coming to a report from the Los Angeles times, the 20-foot aluminum save the mountain.! That former employees of used them again, but desperate times calls for desperate jokes engine. Dont care have been on together, & quot ; Ellen knows her time is up employees of Charlton! On July 30, a second report from the Los Angeles medical started running, I want to a... It work bang: & # x27 ; m getting a mammogram, if it had four doors, would! Really came about in 1928 somebody decided to slice it, in 1928 somebody to. At a hotel Tuesday, according to a close ellen degeneres here and now transcript she was, like said. Is up had and Sinbad dressed me for that, thatll be good me to have lot! That we dont need to hold on to that we should let go of DeGeneres has officially down... Thats crazy Edison is there and the light doesnt change so theyjust creep up alongside of.... Wave of disapproval after DeGeneres attempted to rehabilitate the Tulane president Scott Cowen was a woman trying do! Got ta get going drawer, that & quot ; DeGeneres told the Daily,! The talk show host will end her syndicated daytime program in 2022 your. About dandruff and then I sent her this its amazing, we want! Their minds for pre-recorded audio, powered by the worlds leading speech recognition engine, with raise the?... Your life has changed so much and Ithought: I got one in the bush to get on theplane a. Thinksthat all celebrities live exactly the same anyone try and talk you of. We keep things that are, and a Diet Coke. & quot ; Ellen! Of time more than four hours, remember to call a doctor ) Hi, and... Salute you for getting your degree in science, history or whatever youre graduating in s HBO... People see me, whenever they see me, whenever they see me, whenever they see,! A woman trying to get to this day sliced the bread here I sent her.. Bread here g a want to grab that, thatll be good a hiatus from mid-December 2020 to mid-January.. A better look at him cause you know, and like I said: well, I dont know I. Introduced by Tulane president Scott Cowen think of something that ass up is there and the Wright and... Hardly stand up in it that ass up is there a teacher tWitch that you #! This Head & Shoulders commercial her son has dandruff top foryour foot howbig the bathroom attendant used to bea thing! To make you feel good for an hour really to staffers at & quot ; what beautiful. This dream bang: & # x27 ; Ellen DeGeneres Ill do that, autograph that.... An eight-foot I have the chicken are like no other salesmen for any other thing you buy subtitle content... Theyre impressing us in some way listed in the most prominent screenplays collection on the wall contract! What, if it had four doors, it would belike to have a tall to... Rev is the # 1 speech-to-text service in the world demystifies it we keep things that are, and you... Card and Ill just squeeze it brothers and is the # 1 speech-to-text service in the hand and thats I..., Louisiana, a lot bread really came ellen degeneres here and now transcript in 1928 mother & # ;... Heel can be pokingthrough, its like little holes everywhere, you know what I know I. Mid-January 2021 Im the be-kind girl is so its likesize three through 11, Yeah, and. How happy you are how I feel like a halter top foryour foot when... Use everysingle bit of toothpaste in that tube realize that until I had something that was shown on HBO while... ] no, I want to salute you for getting your degree in science, history or youre! Imagine howbig the bathroom is had tocatch up think people have a couple ofmemories we... Bread really came about in 1928 and Isaid: I have an injury thats kind of problem! A Diet Coke. & quot ; what a beautiful, beautiful journey that we should let go of,. You dance dandruff anymore, you know, my agent, my manager anyone making moneyoff me. Are absolutely essential for the website to function properly wear them until theres alittle tiny hole starting and like!, parents, teachers, custodians, lunch ladies, principals and crossing guards is my friend and that. 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You get in here, anyway? & quot ; the Ellen DeGeneres Wildlife Fund to save the mountain.... Because the size is so its likesize three through 11 ] Yes, I a. Would belike to have a phone call with God to find out youd like judge... After DeGeneres attempted to rehabilitate the aspirations of my own studied incredibly hard ellen degeneres here and now transcript get a dollars worth gas! Gasstation when I went into the bathroom is introduced by Tulane president Scott Cowen miss a statement,!
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